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About Malmo

So sexual-massage, yeah? It’s like a massage, but spicy, innit. Them hands ain’t just kneadin’ ya back - they’re goin’ *places*, fam. Little-known fact - back in ancient times, them Chinese emperors was gettin’ these rubs to “balance their chi” or summat. Probs just an excuse to get freaky, haha! Makes me laff thinkin’ about some posh git in a robe tryna play it cool while he’s all oiled up.

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Then, I get back to work, and it’s like the universe is playin’ tricks on me. I swear, every time I think it’s gonna calm down, someone else comes in. There’s this kid with a balloon, and he’s bouncin’ around like he owns the place. He gets in, and I’m like, “Where to, champ?” He just points up. I hit the button, and the balloon gets stuck in the ceiling. I’m like, “Oh no, not again!”

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